OK, not really. I’m not going to show you some financing trick or scam or miracle piece of engineering so you can buy or build a hybrid car at no cost. But I will show you how you can effectively get hybrid-like mileage out of your non-hybrid (and even boost the MPG of your shiny new hybrid), with no out of pocket expense, no modification to your car, and you can start the very next time you get behind the steering wheel.

The trick, of course, is hypermiling, the driving technique I’ve mentioned here numerous times in connection with my Scion xA, which gets over 40MPG, at least when I’m driving it. [Glances off-screen with raised eyebrows in the direction of Mrs. Lou.]

In short, hypermiling is changing your driving technique to get to your destination while consuming less fuel. You do this by keeping your car in top shape, accelerating less aggressively, sticking to the speed limit (what a concept!), coasting up to stops (when you can do so without interfering with or annoying other drivers), not idling, and generally being on the lookout for opportunities in your route and surrounding traffic patterns to avoid stops.

I most definitely don’t recommend the more extreme hypermiling techniques, like drafting behind trucks. There are things even I won’t do or recommend to others in the interest of higher MPG.

For more detail, see Wired’s hypermiling guide, and Wired’s feature article on hypermiling.

The average American driver, who drives with all the subtlety of King Kong carrying a blond up a skyscraper, can easily save 20 to 30% on their fuel bill, nearly the same savings usually attributed to switching from a non-hybrid to an equivalent hybrid.

“But, but, but… this isn’t fun!” I can imagine people shouting at their screens.

My fellow Americans: You know what it’s like paying for your current gasoline use at $4/gallon, and I bet you’re not enjoying it much. If you’ve never tried hypermiling, then I’m willing to bet that if you give it a good faith try–three or four days–you’ll find that it’s nowhere as onerous as it sounds and is way more fun than paying for all that extra gasoline. You might even (gasp!) come to like the challenge, as I do. And trust me, this is the opinion of a real speed freak. In years gone by I lived for fast cars and fast motorcycles, and 0-60 times and horsepower ratings were my first measures of almost anything on wheels. If I made this transition I’m sure you dear readers can do it, too.

In case it’s not obvious, let me spell out why doing this is a good idea:

• Even if you’ve already taken some of the steps we hear about all the time in the news, like using more public transportation and combining or eliminating errands, hypermiling is still a good idea, as it applies to every mile you do drive, regardless of the vehicle.
• Because hypermiling requires you to pay more attention to traffic signals and other vehicles, it makes you a safer driver. You’re actually focused on your driving and not your iPod or your iPhone or any other distraction in your iMe world. (My favorite bumper sticker seen recently: A cell phone with the red circle-and-slash symbol over it next to the text “HANG UP AND DRIVE”.)
• Less gasoline used = less gasoline bought = more money in your pocket. (Duh.)
• Less gasoline used = less gasoline burned = less CO2 emitted. Each gallon not burned prevents another 20 pounds of CO2 from going into the atmosphere where we’ll have to live with it for a very long time.
• Less gasoline used = less oil consumed = lower US trade deficit, less reliance on other countries for a critical resource, more oil left in the ground for the post-peak period when we’ll really need it. (The US consumes about 9 million barrels of gasoline every day. You can do your own projection of what the fuel savings would be if a significant portion of US drivers started hypermiling. Think the price of oil and gasoline would drop then?)
• Smarter, gentler driving means less wear on your car, particularly the brakes, which means lower repair bills over time.

I know what will happen, though. Virtually every one of you reading this will ignore my advice, keep driving like you’re coming down the main straightaway at the Indy 500 on the final lap. That means you’ll keep using more gasoline, emitting more CO2, and throwing away more money than is necessary, all because you think it’s too hard or not fun enough or whatever excuse you care to trot out.

So here’s my challenge: I dare you to prove me wrong and adopt these techniques. Show the cynics like me that American drivers are smarter than a sack of rocks, and that we can take steps that help ourselves and others, both now and in the future. Help turn hypermiling into the Next Big Thing, starting today, through your own driving and telling others about it. If you don’t I guarantee that when gasoline hits $5 or $6 or more in just a few years you’ll be hypermiling. Unless, of course, you have the right combination of money and luck to buy one of the very scarce (and very much in demand) EV’s or plug-in hybrids that will come on the market beginning in 2010.